Well-Spoken Words (III)

~ By Ajahn Jayasāro ~

We have looked at the two preliminary considerations of intention and timeliness. We have looked at the two considerations of content: truthfulness and benefit. The fifth consideration is of 𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗿.

We try to speak in a polite and tactful manner, sensitive to the views, beliefs, desires and fears of the other person. Even if we are provoked, we abstain from crude or malicious words aimed to wound or pay back. We strive to speak clearly, to the point, and avoid the use of alienating jargon. We listen patiently, and are calm but firm if we are interrupted. We are mindful of our body language and tone of voice. We show respect for the other person’s words and a genuine interest to understand. We do not adopt the stance of ‘I’m right and you’re wrong’; ‘I’m good and you’re bad’; ‘I’m smart and you’re foolish’. We are aware that the most fruitful conversations have no winners or losers. Our goal is to speak in the manner of the best of friends.

- - ❖ - -

"Food for the Heart", a series of Dhamma teachings handwritten weekly is posted on the Buddhadāsa Indapañño Archives page with Ajahn's kind permission.

- - ❖ - -

For other teachings by Ven. Ajahn Jayasāro, please visit the Panyaprateep Foundation website.